Of Fear And Growth And Openness

9th February, 2012

Life hands us packages, always surprises that are not exactly as they seem, or as we expect. It gives us something delightful that we later realise was a harbinger of pain. It shows us a mesmerising path which leads us into ditches of sorrow. It toys with our minds, our emotions, sometimes making us soar its beautiful, blue skies, and sometimes chaining us down with its steely ropes. And soon before we know it, we have covered ourselves with a cloak of fear. We hide within this cloak, afraid to try anything new, afraid to take any chances, afraid to walk any further on the path. Then we shut our eyes to all of life’s beauty and refuse to look at life except through our sullied cloak.

Fear is a wonderful defence that helps protect and promote the survival of every animal, including man. It outlines for us humans, areas of both the real and the abstract world which may cause us either physical or psychological harm. It leads us away from what could result in pain or sorrow. But what fear makes us often forget is that life’s surprises are not always painful. The packages are always bitter-sweet, two-sided coins which can be viewed differently based on one’s perspective. And so, as we sit, comfortably-sluggish, in our carefully moulded fear-cloaked environments, we don’t realise that the real vehicle of spiritual growth has long passed us by.

To a wise man who sees and understands this, fear then becomes a harbinger of opportunity, of growth. Pain then transcends into something that is comfortable and eventually helpful. Such a person then sees that growth involves pain, and pain leads to growth. He is willing to step out of that which seems comfortable, to try and find that which might lead to the development of his spirit.

No human can voluntarily accept pain. To fight against that which poses potential harm is an innate and natural response of the human spirit. A victory or defeat against the situation that one finds himself in, depends solely on the individual’s physical and mental strength. But in either case, once the fight is over, once the body and mind lie exhausted and weakened, the spirit can use this experience for new learnings of its own. It can try to sift through its emotional baggage to find the wisdom that lies beneath.

And once, an individual has internalized this process, of learning to find meaning in that which seems painful, his fear automatically dissipates. His mind grows open to experiences good and bad, pleasurable and painful. His mind swells open to explore the depths of these circumstances and find meaning in them; meaning that will help fill his soul and clarify his mind.

An intricate relationship this, between fear and growth and openness; where one feeds off the other, and where the latter cannot come to exist without the former. And when a person can understand and live this, when his spirit becomes truly open, life’s surprises don’t surprise him anymore. He becomes willing to accept them all equally and non-judgementally, and nurture them till they lead him to the place where all is clear.

Conservation Dilemas

31st July, '09

I joined a virtual cause called 'Conservation International' today. I joined it, no doubt, except I don't see how I can help except by joining, and probably donating some money. An indirect manner of conservation...?

I have always, as far back as I can remember been really into the whole conservation thing. I have very meticulously all my life remembered to bring back chocolate or other plastic wrappers back home to throw in the dustbin. I have always remembered to close the tap while brushing, and switch off the lights and fans in a room when I am leaving it. I have also, as far as possible tried to buy veggies from the local vegetable vendor rather than from the fancy 'Reliance' and 'Food World', even if it meant lesser variety for higher prices. But what more can I do?

Why has it always been so hard to organise a tree-planting community project, or to try and get the people from my neighbourhood to clean up the lake nearby, that is beginning to look more and more like a sewer each day? Leave alone getting people to stop bursting crackers on Diwali, the day after Diwali, I can't even take the initiative to get the kids from the block to clean up the paper from the streets. Instead we all wait for the MCH workers to come and clean up our useless mess.

It's difficult to explain to an average Indian, the importance of being environmentally conscientious. The concept is still alien to the housewife next door or the man sitting at the Kirana Shop opposite my house. To bring it up amongst these people means inviting ridicule, questioning and unwanted attention. Or at least, that is the fear. But it is a very necessary step needed to be taken as early as possible. It is the urban, ignorant, average middle-class Indian who is causing most of this mess. He needs to know about the consequences of his everyday actions. And he constitutes the majority of India's population.

Even if I can transform one such person in my life into an everyday practising conservationalist, I would've done my bit for conservation. The seed would have been planted, or rather dispersed into the wind, to fly in different directions and transform the world.

The Beginning and the End

5th July, '09

A birth and a death; two homes visited, two sides of life seen. One gurgling with the joy of things to be, and the other fraught with the pain and tenderness that comes with witnessing a life reduced to just loving memories. Today I was an onlooker to two parts of life where a person receives just unconditional love; A newborn oblivious to all the joy it has brought into a household along with its teeny fragile frame, and a deceased who is equally oblivious to all the praise and love that he may have never received during his lifetime.The farewell was just as tender as the welcome was.

But what of the senile beggar I saw being dragged to the footpath from the middle of the road, after having been hit my a motorcyclist? There was no one to fawn over his bleeding head, or even lay a gentle hand on his failing heart. All he found at the end of his journey were a few rough hands dragging him to where he would not be an encumbrance to the rest of the world.